Nothing quite communicates the commodification of childhood like appending “ON ICE” to the title of any treasured story. “The Velveteen Rabbit … ON ICE.” See? But if any giant corporate entity can successfully depict the plight of unwanted toys via the bastard art form that is ON ICE, it’s Disney. “Disney On Ice Presents Disney/Pixar’s Toy Story 3” is a fever-dream of costumed figure skaters re-enacting Andy’s departure for college and the entrapment of his playthings at Sunnyside Daycare. Sadly, Johnny Weir does not play Lots-o’-Huggin’ Bear. Head to the Patriot Center for the show’s five-day run and don’t forget the tissues, although the tearjerking qualities of the original may not translate into the language of ice dancing. Also, there is apparently some sort of 3-D technology involved, which means all adults present will go blind.
» Patriot Center, 4500 Patriot Circle, Fairfax, Va.; Oct. 20-24, $15-$70; 703-573-7328.
The Flying Karamazov Brothers comedy troupe lacks the insight into free will, sin and redemption of the similarly named Fyodor Dostoevsky masterpiece. Which is too bad, because pretty soon those little rascals are going to realize that if God does not exist, everything is permitted, and there goes the china cabinet. Instead, these Karamazovs — each is named for a character from the novel, and that’s where the resemblance ends — juggle, make bad puns and generally cavort.
» Wolf Trap, 1645 Trap Road, Vienna, Va.; Oct. 20 through Oct. 21, 8 p.m., $35; 877-965-3872.
Behold, a savage, majestic creature wholly indifferent to my existence! I will now LOSE MY MIND. That’s the zoo, if you’re 3. Personally, the amorality of nature scares the pants off us, which makes Boo at the Zoo a fitting pre-Halloween activity. Small mammalian offspring can dress in costume (gazelle suits are not advised) and prey on unsuspecting candy from the “treat stations.”
» National Zoo, 3001 Connecticut Ave. NW; 5:30-8:30 p.m., $20-$30; 202-633-4800. (Cleveland Park)
Mane Event 2
Everyone loves horses. Fashion people, celebrities, little girls, Horse Girls (there’s a distinction, and you know it). Horses love horses. Selfish horses, always focusing on themselves. A tradition for more than 50 years, the Washington International Horse Show brings steeds and riders together to compete in jumping, dressage and other events. Also, there are Jack Russell terrier races if you hate equines.
» Verizon Center, 601 F St. NW; Oct. 26 through Oct. 31, $10-$50; 202-397-7328. (Gallery Place)
Scary, in The Abstract
What’s just as frightening as the zoo? The decline in federal funding for the arts! Tremble in terror as the National Symphony Orchestra makes music accessible for the masses in hopes of maintaining relevancy! Its “Spooky Sounds and Scary Tales” concert features such hits as John William’s “Hedwig’s Theme” from the “Harry Potter” films and Paul Dukas’ “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice.”
» Kennedy Center, 2700 F St. NW; Oct. 31, 1 & 3 p.m., $15-$18; 202-467-4600. (Foggy Bottom)
In the newspaper comic strip’s cliff-hanger ending, orphan Annie is being held captive by a war criminal in Guatemala. In the touring production of the eponymous musical, she’s still just an upwardly mobile urchin who sees a life of leisure reflected in a gazillionaire’s shiny bald head. Either way, Annie’s pre-Warbucksian life will make your ungrateful brood appreciate modern marvels like the foster care system and/or the Geneva Conventions.
» Olney Theatre Center, 2001 Olney-Sandy Spring Road, Olney, Md.; Nov. 11 through Jan. 2, $26-$54, 301-924-3400.
Yin and Yang
That the Grimm brothers’ fairy tales have creepy psychosexual undertones is pretty old news. We assume that “Snow White, Rose Red (and Fred)” a Kennedy Center world premiere for the middle-school crowd, has less subtext. Set in the now, it’s about high-school cheerleaders fighting over a dude. There’s probably an important lesson that has nothing to do with the virgin-whore dichotomy.
» Kennedy Center, 2700 F St. NW; Nov. 26 through Dec. 19, $18; 202-467-4600. (Foggy Bottom)