D.C. Diary: Going Hungry at Hooters

Map It:  Gallery Pl-Chinatown 

SOMETHING WENT TERRIBLY WRONG at Hooters on Saturday night. For restaurateurs in the bustling Gallery Place-Chinatown-Verizonville area, there's plenty of money to be made. And there's plenty of money to be lost. And the manager on duty at the 7th Street NW outpost of the national chain best known for its well-endowed wait staff and chicken wings wasn't having a good night.

Free Ride joined up with friends after the Washington Wizards lost to the Cleveland Cavaliers, 98-92. One friend was celebrating his birthday, but hadn't given much thought to where he wanted to eat. And without a reservation, options were limited. RFD was too crowded. The next choice was Burma, on 6th Street NW. But the waiter ignored our table after we were seated, so our party got up and left the Burmese restaurant.

With stomachs growling and patience running low, the birthday boy chose Hooters, for ironic purposes, most likely. Maybe. We think. The place, known for being "delightfully tacky, yet unrefined," was packed, but we were promptly seated next to the kitchen doors underneath a faded photo of Wayne Gretzky perusing a Hooters calendar.

Our order was taken, entered into the master waitstaff computer terminal within view of our table. The waitress came back to confirm the order. Where it went from there is unclear. A play-by-play of what went wrong is probably unnecessary: But here are the lowlights …

» One entree — a pulled-pork sandwich — came out before the Buffalo platter appetizer, which we had to ask for more than an hour into our Hooters experience.

» When the Buffalo platter came, the fried nibblets — various parts of the chicken — were lukewarm. The carrots and celery were worn and couldn't be saved by the "Naturally Fresh" brand bleu cheese sauce in peel-away container.

» After we complained to the manager, two more entrees came out. But our party was informed that the birthday boy, who ordered grilled onions with his Hooters burger, would not get them. Instead, the burger arrived with raw onions. Apparently, throwing them on the grill would not be possible. The fourth entree had to be requested.

» A waitress got confused when Free Ride started pouring his own beer (into a plastic cup, no less) from the pitcher we ordered. "Did someone come by with another pitcher?" No, we assured her, it was the one she'd brought us a half-hour earlier.

» Free Ride's Texas steak sandwich came with potato salad instead of the requested cole slaw. But that's OK. The substitute was quite tasty.

If we had to do an amateur diagnosis of what went wrong, we'd guess someone from the kitchen crew was fired or quit partway through the evening or there was some sort of massive communications breakdown between the kitchen staff and the waitstaff. (Or maybe both?) Free Ride suspects that the ranks in the kitchen were depleted. Why?

"Well, how are you going to cook?" the manager asked, dismissing a comment from a curvaceous blonde as the two headed into the kitchen past our table in a huff. Perhaps the standard uniform for a Hooters waitress doesn't do so well around a deep fryer. Scalding hot fryer oil and flesh-color leggings — probably not such a good mix.

One hour waiting for food turned into two.

To give the manager credit, he didn't charge our party for any of the food we ordered. After two hours and 25 minutes at Hooters, we paid $25 for two pitchers of Yuengling and we went on our way. Looking out over the dining room every so often, we could see the manager speaking to other diners, most likely in the same boat as us. Hooters, it seems, lost a lot of money — and customer trust — on Saturday night.

When the MCI Center opened on the 7th Street NW corridor a decade ago, Hooters was among the initial wave of franchises to stake a claim in the revival of the Gallery Place-Chinatown area. The MCI Center has been rechristened Verizon Center, and the blocks surrounding it are booming with gimmicks. Instead of big breasts and hot pants, hungry souls in the area can choose from California Tortilla's wheel of prizes and "spunky" team members or from one of Clyde's countless saloons decorated with old-school prepster knickknacks.

Now that the area is getting more crowded with more and more options, being "delightfully tacky, yet unrefined" may not cut it. Service actually matters. Might Hooters go the way of Coyote Ugly? There are certainly plenty of budding entrepreneurs eager to snatch up Hooters' prime real estate. If Saturday night's horrible experience is any indication of the norm at the place, it may not be long before they get their chance.

» Hooters, 825 7th St. NW, 202-962-0965 (Gallery Place-Chinatown)

File photos by Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images