Idol Chatter: Doolittle's Done
Express' Greg Barber recaps Wednesday's shocking "American Idol" results show. But before you get to the shocking, you've got to slog through the show.
AN "AMERICAN IDOL" intro without Ryan Seacrest is perhaps the best gift the producers could have given us as we head into this penultimate public beheading results show. Homer Simpson seems like a fine replacement, although a live show hosted by a cartoon would likely spark chronic carpal tunnel across Hollywood. Not that that would be a bad thing.
By the way, could Fox be doing more to promote The Simpsons' 400th episode or their inexplicable movie? Really, what are The Simpsons going to do in a movie that they haven't done in nearly 20 years on TV? Maybe they'll have Bart drop the s-bomb, like Spike did in "Transformers: The Movie"? Yeah, that was the stuff.
But alas, Seacrest's back, ready to tease, tease, tease us for an hour before we get what we came here for: one of these three little Idolites' head on a pike. By the way, did he forget his razor or something? There's stubble, then there's just letting yourself go. It's network TV, pal.
» IT'S TIME TO GET THINGS STARTED: The contestants are introduced, as are the judges. Note to Simon: Never, never wink at us like that again. Ma America just keeled over from fright and Pa's shinin' his shotgun. Ya hear?
Slow-mo and clips from Tuesday whet our appetite for some down 'n' dirty Idol action. But ah ah ah! Miles to go before we sleep.
OK. I might get in trouble for this, but when Blake does that open-mouth-stare-at-the-camera thing he likes to do, he looks really, well, Muppet-like. See what I mean?
Ah, the plug-a-thon. "So You Think You Can Dance." "Idols Live." And is Melinda wearing a shirt that says "Death Cheater?" Because she's so, uh, badass? And why can't I see Blake's torso? Hey, he's wearing hipster camouflage! (I can just hear Georgetown reaching for its collective wallet.)
» THEY'RE GOING HOME: We get to watch Jordin on her hometown press junket. Again. Glendale, Ariz., we can feel your love. Now get on with your lives, already.
Jordin handles their adoration well — really well for a person her age. Or at least that's what the producers want us to think.
Seacrest dims the lights for the fake-out we all know is coming. It comes. We're no closer to an answer. But, hey, more commercials!
The American Idol Challenge shows that money can definitely be made by asking an easy question and getting lots of people to text message for a buck an entry.
» NO MORE TEARS: It's Blake's turn at bat, and it's back to his hometown and his performance with Sir Mix-A-Lot, with whom Blake's apparently worked before? Weird. And Blake apparently likes big butts.
And we're back to tape. Girls scream. TV anchors gesticulate wildly. Muppetish faces abound. Lots of touching of the camera. Blake's dad cries — a rare genuinely touching moment. Which is quickly drowned out by more screaming girls.
Another dim-light tease. Why must we endure this? It doesn't really build anticipation, it just fills time, which must be the point. And ticks viewers off.
» SHOW WITHIN A SHOW: Elliot Yamin takes the stage, as does his hair. He's OK. Melinda, Jordin and Blake are all more dynamic performers, though. Paula's oddly shiny and Gerber Baby-ish looking when they cut to her after his song ends — is that her proud face? Then Elliot drops his mic and fumbles his words of wisdom for the current crew. His tour starts Thursday night at the The Birchmere in Alexandria, but, alas, it's sold out.
He says he like Porsches, which makes Ford-shilling Seacrest squirm. Which wins him points in my book.
Time out for the Ford entertainmercial! How well-timed. Blake, Melinda and Jordin are all little kids. Then they're in a Ford. Then they're at a show. Is a Ford, then, a metaphor for aging? Maturity? Or is it just a commodity aimed at getting us from point A to point B? (Any other English majors in the house want to take a crack at that one? You've got plenty of time. There's another 20 minutes or so before anything of substance happens.)
Melinda misses sweet tea. Simon's spaced out, much like the audience. Back to tape. Melinda on TV, Melinda with kids, a self-effacing Melinda montage. It's Melinda Doolittle Day in Tennessee. Melinda sings karaoke? Melinda cries. Everybody cries! Everybody hurrrrrrrtsssss, sometiiiiiimes.
The lights dim. Nothing happens. Simon's still spaced out.
"AI" is looking for bands, too, by the way. Because who wouldn't want more "American Idol"-like programming? Certainly not the suits at Fox who are swimming in "Idol" cash.
Maroon 5 performs. Adam Levine's voice is nasally, and he's sweating profusely. Blake is probably eyeing his scarf — it'd look great with argyle. But can we just get to the show, please? Sure — after more commercials!
» HOLD ON TO YOUR HATS: Finally, the results. "This is the hard part," Seacrest says. Jordin's first up. Which probably means Blake goes bye-bye. She's in.
Melinda's up next. And she's ... out? Wow. There's a result I never would have expected. And neither did Simon, who is now most assuredly not spaced out.
I'm shocked. Simon's shocked. Melinda's shocked. Randy's shocked. Paula's ... confused — they'll explain it to her later.
Melinda's not even runner-up? C'mon, America! What gives? She's got bucketfuls of talent and knocked our socks off week after week after week. (I'll leave to others the observations about how America may or may not be prone to betting on the wrong horse when it comes to voting. Somebody's making that joke, right?)
Maybe she lost because she's not flashy enough to hold our ADD-riddled country's attention. Maybe because she's (at 29, mind you) older than the other contestants. Maybe people don't buy that she's really that nice. But, really, can anyone question that she's got a staggering amount of vocal talent? And isn't that supposed to be what this show's about?
It all makes sense, though. Blake and Jordin both have a poppy quality that Melinda doesn't match. She's solid and classy, but just not hip enough.
Melinda's going home. And on to quite a career. But not on this stage.
So that's it. It's Blake vs. Jordin next week. Boy was I wrong, wrong, wrong.
» EPILOGUE, OR A QUICK BURST OF THERAPUTIC JOY: To help us all come to terms with this week's curve-ball decision, I offer these words of wisdom from one of the great philosophic sources of the 1980s — the theme song from "Blossom":
Don't know about the future, that's anybody's guess.Woah. See you next week.
Ain't no good reason for gettin' all depressed.
Buy up your pad and pencil
I'll give you a piece of my mind.
In my opinionation, the sun is gonna surely shine.
Photos courtesy Fox
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Addison Road
Goodbye Melinda goodbye - yeah you can belt it out but the Shrek look don't get it done. See ya!
By WmS , Posted May 17, 2007 11:17 AMBefore the ford commercial but after Elliot Yamin's performance, Seacrest closes before the commercial break by saying "...and Melinda goes home." The camera pans out over the contestants and the crowd... Melinda doesnt have her award winning, obnoxious smile on her face. When they come back, they show the Simon, who the night before said Melinda should be in the Top 2, is pissed. Seacrest slip on the results or coincidence?
By Chris , Posted May 17, 2007 11:18 AMI had a feeling Melinda was not moving on. She and Jordin were sharing the same vote pool for a long time, of which Jordin was garnering the majority of votes for several weeks. Blake is unique as stated by Paula on different occasions although I don't see him surpassinf Jordin.
By ponch , Posted May 17, 2007 11:25 AMUr an idiot, just as you were when you were wrong, wrong, wrong. Get a life idiot. Stop with the lame punditry.
By D S , Posted May 17, 2007 11:28 AMThis has to be the worst written article I have read in a while. Reads like a 10-year old trying to use big words. Did this author ever graduate from high school?
By Max , Posted May 17, 2007 11:50 AMI heard the Seacrest Slip... and thought, that was so bad... he let the cat right out of the bag...
Why is no one in the media climbing all over this!?!?!
By jjs , Posted May 17, 2007 11:51 AMAh, now that's more like it. The honeymoon ends so quickly...
By Greg Barber , Posted May 17, 2007 11:51 AM» Chris: I just rechecked on the DVR and I think Seacrest was just teasing the taped segment from Nashville when he said "Melinda goes home." But you're right, the look on her face seemed to indicate otherwise, that she thought she was being sent home. A really interesting moment in hindsight.
» Ponch: Yeah, Melinda and Jordin were fishing from a similar pond, but I really thought Melinda would edge Jordin out. She just strikes me as a more solid, well-rounded performer. Blake's survival surprised me. Maybe his fan base is bigger than we all think?
Not sure why anyone is suprised? Sure she can sing, she can sing better than most rockstars who have made it! But, it takes more than just singing skill to be a star.
She was one of the most boring, "Safe" contestants ever. Glad she's not in the final.
By Mike , Posted May 17, 2007 12:12 PMGreg -- Blake's fanbase is huuuuuge and obsessed with him. And they power-vote. This could spell trouble for Jordin, but Idol could decide to crown her anyway, since they want to so badly.
By Anne , Posted May 17, 2007 12:24 PMI think Meliinda's Death Cheater tee is a reference to Jesus, considering her deeply held religious beliefs. No editorial comments here, just my take on that tee.
By djana , Posted May 17, 2007 1:10 PMI'm saddened by America's idiocy. Melinda should have won the whole thing.
By Terry L. Odor , Posted May 17, 2007 2:18 PMJust go to your stores and look at the racks of CD's but last years winning contants. The losers of last years Idol outsell the winner. What does this tell you? For this year, the CD I will purchase will be Doolittle when its released and I am sure her CD will fly off the shelfs. Blake might have a chance in a boy band but just not my thing to purchase. I think Jordan is talented but I much prefer Doolittle.
By Ricardo , Posted May 17, 2007 2:19 PMit wasn't a slip. ryan was talking about malinda's video of her trip home. it was th only one that haden't been shown at that time. it took me a minute to figure out what he was talking about.
By sam , Posted May 17, 2007 2:19 PMMelinda has a broader ability in her voice than both Blake and Jordan. Melinda was able to sing whatever she was asked to do every week. Both Blake and Jordan had good and bad weeks. I would rather have adults supporting me than teeny boppers
By John Scott , Posted May 17, 2007 3:00 PMwho's ADD will quickly loose interest.
I was surprised that Melida was voted out. But in a way it's good that I need not watch the show next week any more. Too sad.
By Amy , Posted May 17, 2007 3:05 PMI think Sanjaya's fans are voting for Blake
By Lane , Posted May 17, 2007 3:10 PMRegarding the, "Melinda goes home" comment... Seacrest was referring to her visiting her home in Nashville after the commercial break... I thought the same thing and did a quick replay with the DVR and put two and two together and realized that he was referring to the home visit - not that she was getting the boot...
By Briguy , Posted May 17, 2007 3:17 PMi am so disappointed in america for kicking out the best contestant..... melinda doolittle
By melissa , Posted May 17, 2007 4:16 PMafter kelly clarkson won, this show has been pointless to watch...a bunch of no talent-ass clowns like mickael bolton
By ronti , Posted May 17, 2007 4:47 PMI will not watch idol anymore i thought the Show was about talent. Not who is the most popular. Clay got ripped off & so did Melinda. The Show sucks anymore. Janey.
By Janey Scott , Posted May 17, 2007 6:21 PMThe first mistake is to think American Idol has any credibility. I have given up on Idol and believing they are legit. I will buy anything that Melinda Doolittle makes after her contract with Idol expires. She will be incredible to see in concert.
If you believe Melinda Doolittle isn't marketable than please explain the careers of : Gladys Knight, Bob Dylan, Aretha Franklin, Joey Ramone, Christina Aguilera, Mama Cass, Billy Joel, Jennifer Hudson and Etta James. What a group of not-so-attractive group of singers who have changed and enhanced our world with their music!!!!!
By Thou shall not worship false Idols , Posted May 17, 2007 7:03 PMSure, Melinda is the better singer by far, but the "deer in the headlights" look whenever she is complemented or asked a question is absolutely pathetic. Once she stops singing she becomes a lifeless limb of herself.
By joe , Posted May 17, 2007 7:35 PMActually, it isn't that Melinda is 29. It's that she sorta got stuck in a rut. Week after week, great vocals, but overall bombastic performances and even some kinda weak song choices. I wouldn't be surprised if she went directly from Idol to Las Vegas... her style is definitely "casino." And it's unfortunate that she never came off as "real" or as "fun" as LaKisha.
By Gene Knight , Posted May 17, 2007 7:57 PMI was horrified to see Melinda booted off the show. She was what the show is supposed to be about; TALLENT! I know that great things will come her way and I can't wait for her first CD. I also will not be watching anymore American Idol.
By Myra Blevins , Posted May 17, 2007 8:24 PMJordin is the most talented singer this season. I will admit that she does not always have the best song choices. I agree with Simon that they need to be younger, newer songs for a 17 year old. Jordin has something that Melinda did not have as much of Star Quality. It's not just about talent. It's about what America thinks. Afterall, we buy the CDs.
By Dave , Posted May 18, 2007 1:42 PMIt really doesn't make a difference who wins, comes second, third... They're all gonna get lucrative contracts with some label or another. And then everyone can buy whatever they like best :-) Or download illegally...
By Trixi , Posted May 21, 2007 7:27 PMI'm sure this final will be like the last one. A guy I really don't like (let's call him "fish face"), will beat my favourite. But like I said, it doesn't matter.
Melinda Doolittle doing the Dreyer's ice cream tour this week in Nashville wow she is a amazing singer. She did releases her first single song on i TUnes My Funny Valentine and will released her first Album June of 2008. If you are a fan of her and want to support her in her new career www.mdstreetteam.com
By Louise , Posted March 29, 2008 2:16 PMMelinda Doolittle the talented vocalist with a heart of gold. The album’s first single, “It’s Your Love,” was released to radio stations nationwide in September. to have more update about her album www.melindasbackups.com
By Louise7 , Posted September 18, 2008 1:21 PMGood news for you Melinda Doolittle fans! She’s set to release her debut album titled, Coming Back to You on Hi-Fi Recordings in January 09. Produced by Grammy-nominated producer Mike Mangini (Joss Stone, Run DMC, The Jonas Brothers), Coming Back to You was recorded with a team of live musicians in Nashville and New York City.
The first single, “It’s Your Love” will be released to radio in October.
Keep you update about Melinda career at www.melindasbackups.com
melindasbackups.com is a web site owned by Melinda Doolittle. Melinda’s Backups™ is a non-profit supportive association inspired by Melinda and authorized by her to operate this web site on behalf of her fans.
By Louise7 , Posted October 21, 2008 2:54 PM