Szechuan Style Beats: The Notorious MSG

CAGE MATCH: Bruce Lee versus Tupac. Who wins? Neither — they both dead, muthasucka!

The Notorious MSG takes the title by default. Since forming several years ago in New York, the pan-Asian hip-hop trio has clambered out of the underground kitchens of Chinatown and into the spotlight. Although they occasionally still help out the family, these days they're going easy on the food service.

"For the most part, we spend our time working on the beats and tapping ass," said Down-Lo Mein, aka "D-Lo, the Yello Gigolo." "It's a busy schedule," added "Ringleader" Hong Kong Fever.

Unlike onetime gangstas who go legit when they blow up, MSG has not abandoned its pimpin'. Branching out from the Chinatown base they share with "Killing Machine" the Hunan Bomb, "we started to expand, reaching into Soho a bit, and Chelsea — the girls in Chelsea, that is," explained Fever, sounding only slightly like the product of a bleary night involving Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and a compliant Shar-Pei.

Saturday night at Love, MSG changes up its spring line, putting a little muscle behind p.i.n.k. vodka. Enhanced with caffeine and guarana, "the world's perfect party spiritâ„¢" promises to loosen up the ladies yet keep them conscious ... making them the perfect audience for "Dim Sum Girl," the touching ballad Hong Kong Fever sings to the one that got away. MSG scoffed at the idea that showing "a little sensitive side" could tarnish the heavy rep of a group whose latest EP, "Lunch Money," finds it collaborating with New Jersey metalmeisters Satanicide.

"The women never accuse us of not being hard enough, if you know what I mean," Fever said.

On its Web site, the group promises to "prolapse the nation's capital." Asked for clarification, Fever launched into an extended biological metaphor that is simply unfit for underage commuters reading this on the way to Montessori.

But know this: MSG will rock us hard. We will take all they can deliver. And about an hour later, as though we had never been rocked at all, we will wish to be rocked again.
Good thing there are leftovers.

» Love, 1350 Okie St. NE; Sat., 9 p.m. (doors), $20; 202-636-9030.

Written by Express contributor Glenn Dixon
Photo courtesy Cordless