Wedding Guide: All For Favors Say 'Aye Do'

WEDDING FAVORS, IT SEEMS, are falling out of favor. The standard take-home goodies — picture frames, votive candles, sachets (traditionally with a monogram tackily emblazoned across them) — are so cliche that many couples would like to ditch the ritual entirely. There's only one problem: the guests.

"Even if they won't use it, they like opening the box,' moans wedding planner Jessica Greenstein (Aperday.com). And a few players have significant clout, adds Vicky Johnson (info@holymatrimonyonline.com; 202-517-9189), who's been in the business for more than 15 years: "Some brides say, 'My mother is going to die if I don't have a tchotchke.'"

So, each place setting still requires some sort of memento. But what that should be is now up for debate.

"My mantra toward favors is not against them, but to make them more useful and have a meaning," Johnson says. Recently, that's meant donations to charities. Often, it's a medical cause honoring a close relative's battle with a particular illness. Environmental groups are also frequent beneficiaries; they help assuage the guilt of eco-conscious folks who've just left a vast carbon footprint in the name of love. The do-gooder route is also an attractive option for tight budgets, Johnson notes. While an allotment of $1.50 per favor might mean your 200 guests will be taking home junk, a $300 donation to a charity seems more worthwhile.

Another way to make sure a souvenir isn't dumped in the trash is to make it delicious — as in a pretty box concealing truffles or a cupcake. "The good thing about food is that somebody will always eat it," notes planner Terri Carter (Benchmarkevents.com). The latest trend in that arena is the "candy bar," a buffet of sugary snacks often displayed in clear glass containers. Guests get a cellophane bag or a Chinese take-out box, then go to town scooping their favorite treats.

In a twist on that concept, Bob Mikolitch, director of catering for the Fairmont Washington hotel, worked with a bride who loved baking cookies. She supplied her favorite recipes, and his staff whipped up dozens of mini versions. On their way out, guests could customize a doggie bag and take recipe cards to try replicating the experience at home.

That kind of surprise unveiling near the event's end "gives a final oomph to the last hour of the wedding. It's all about the unexpected," Mikolitch says. Food-centric favors also provide a sugar rush for tiring dancers and a cake alternative for folks who just say no to fondant.

Another popular option to fill that niche: luxe lollipops. Couples may opt for cheesecake scoops on a stick, or they can call on a company like A Sweet Idea (Asweetideaonline.com) to set up a station where guests can have images of themselves imprinted on chocolate lollipops.

Greenstein, however, steers her couples away from edibles. "It's nice to have that nosh, but with food, you eat it and you're done. The point is to make it last," she explains. Even with virtually no budget for the favors, you can make a CD. ("Although it's cheap, and people know that," she admits.) With a little more effort and cash, couples can cobble together Greenstein's new favorite idea — the family cookbook. "It has Grandma's cookies, the fish dish he's famous for, the pasta carbonara she made for that great dinner party," she explains. Just laminate the pages and stick them on a binder ring, and you're done.

Gifts aren't totally off-limits, of course (except for maybe those votive candles). If they capture an aspect of the couple's personality, there might be nothing better. That way, they don't need a monogram to be memorable, which means guests are more likely to keep using them — even if the couple isn't married five years later.

The real secret to favor success is putting some thought into them, Johnson says, which isn't always easy when dealing with the never-ending list of other concerns related to throwing this epic bash. Her most recent bull's-eye came from a couple whose invitation featured the image of a groom in a fez presenting his bride with a jewelry box. So, at the wedding, when ladies got jewelry boxes and gentlemen got fezzes, everyone felt in on the joke. Even better: They wore them onto the dance floor. "It turned into a free-for-all, with all of those tassels spinning," Johnson recalls.

So, remember, when all else fails, there are always silly hats.

Photos courtesy of Benchmark Events and Matt Mendelsohn Photography