Idol Chatter: Girls Gone Mild

Express' Greg Barber recaps '60s night performances by the Top 12 "American Idol" gals.

BEFORE WE TURN OUR attention to the ladies competing for the hearts and minds of the T.V.-watching public, let's take a moment first for the queen of "Idol" herself, Ms. Paula Abdul. She'd like to vie for your wallet. More specifically, what's in it.

As we've discussed before on this here blog, Paula's got a new single that's getting some attention: "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow," part of a collection of tunes called "Randy Jackson's Music Club, Vol. 1." What exactly Randy has to do with this music, I'm not entirely sure. Maybe it's kind of like "Ball Hog or Tugboat?," an album that garnered attention back in 1994 not really because of the artist it was credited to — ex-Minutemen bassist Mike Watt (Who? Exactly.) — and more for the stable of talent he gathered to play on the album. Folks like Dave Grohl in his first post-Nirvana appearance, Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Eddie Vedder and so on.

Watt just sat back, played bass and let the big names do their stuff. Which appears to be what Randy does in the video for Paula's new song, which we were hipped to by our colleague Christopher Porter, who knows every word to "Forever Your Girl" and likes to refer to himself as MC Skat Kat around the office.

"Dance Like There's No Tomorrow" is a decent video. The production values are definitely high — there's a big room full of cash inside Randy's music club, apparently — and Paula's lit so flatteringly that you almost forget it's been 10 years since she last released music.

And she can still dance, by the look of it.

The English major in me wants to critique the notion of a song like "Dance Like There's No Tomorrow" garnering attention and airplay in a world that's consumed by continuing fears of terrorism, political unrest and war (frivolity in the face of Armageddon, perhaps?), but I'll demur. Instead, I'll just say that the song is hooky and catchy to the nth degree. But Paula's voice? Can't hear it. All I get is something that vaguely sounds like her that's been fed through a synthesizer and toggled all to hell.

What was that Simon was saying about vocal talent trumping packaging? Right.

ON WITH THE SHOW
As we settle in with Seacrest, he confides in us that despite the many differences in performance we'll hear throughout the show, there's one thing that many of these gals have in common.

Theraflu.

"This evening, it's all about girl power," he stentorianly intones, "and I've gotta tell ya, they're fightin' for it tonight. Even idols aren't immune to the flu. It's one of the worst cold seasons in American history (got stats on that, Ryan?) and it's hit the best Top 24 in "Idol" history. But the show must go on."

Ew. Wonder if they gave the front row a tarp like the one they hand out at Gallagher shows?

Sickness aside, this is one of the more disappointing episodes we've had so far this season. Some of the girls are on their game. But many — too many — are just way off-kilter.

KRISTY LEE COOK
This 24-year-old horse trainer wowed 'em in auditions, but ended up on the chopping block during Hollywood Week, saved only by a rousing performance of "Amazing Grace."

Salvation appears to be a theme: This time around, she sings "Rescue Me." (Watch here.) There's nothing technically wrong with her performance, but there's not much right with it, either. It plods along at what seems like an abnormally slow clip. And while Kristy's voice is, again, technically proficient, she sounds like she's reading the lyrics from a TelePrompTer. It's disconcerting.

"It wasn't your best performance," Randy says. "It was a little rough around the edges for me, that one."

"That's OK," says Paula, "because being sick ... being the first one, that's a double whammy." Apparently, Kristy's one of the gals who's all fluey. "But having said that," Paula continues sagely, "don't ever let that get in the way of your shine and your performance and what you emote. Because you don't want to ever let anyone see that you're having a little bit of a tough time."

"The song didn't suit you," Simon says. "It's a song really designed for someone who's going to belt out a song. I thought your performance was robotic."

She looks really good for someone as sick as she seems to be. At least she's got that going for her.

JOANNE BORGELLA
She's the plus-size model from New Jersey who was the last "Idol" gal chosen for the Top 12.

Pacing seems to be Joanne's issue as she sings "Together Forever." It sounds like she's off-beat for at least a third of the song. At one point, either her voice or her microphone fuzzes out for a couple of words. Again, not the most rousing of performances. (Watch here.) The tempo of the song is peppier than Kristy's was, but the song seems to pull Joanne along behind it rather than the two moving in concert.

Randy isn't quite sold. "The first part of it was a little weird for me, but you got it together towards the end. It felt like your voice was just a little shaky, you felt a little unsure for me."

"It's very nerve-wracking doing what you're doing right now," Paula says, "but you've got to pull it together and shine through."

"I didn't like it at all," Simon says. "This is the point of the show: you've got to come out and nail it. What you just did there was a very average cabaret version of a cabaret song."

Then, he takes it just a smidge too far.

"I don't accept this thing about nerves at this point. Every one of you got a head start to become a star through this show," he says. "If you don't grab hold of it now, then I don't think you deserve to win this show."

Joanne's mom and dad are sitting in the audience. Mom looks like she's about to cry. Dad might just be waiting outside Simon's dressing room with a pair of brass knuckles. Joanne just looks shellshocked. "I hope if America gives me another chance, I'll prove to you what I showed you in Hollywood Week, which is an amazing performance."

I wonder if she'll get that shot.

By the way, does anyone else think the way that Seacrest warns people that the numbers you call to vote aren't 800 numbers — meaning, you're paying for that call, Ma and Pa America — is a little odd: "Remember, these are 866 numbers, not 800 numbers, so be careful when you dial."

It's not like your phone is going to start munching on your finger or steal your car or audit you because you dialed an 866 number. You're just going to see some charges on your phone bill. Think he could be a little more specific about that? Just askin'.

[Correction: Sorry, Ma and Pa America — apparently I'm as clueless about 866 numbers as George H.W. Bush was about the price of milk. They are indeed toll free. I am humbled by my lack of phone-dialing prowess.]

ALAINA WHITAKER
She's the youngest "Idol" contestant this season, so I'll try to be kind about how her interview with Seacrest in the big, red Coca-Cola lounge makes me wonder exactly how bright a bulb she is. Instead, I'll just focus on her performance.

Which, thankfully, is actually good. She sings "More Today Than Yesterday," with a slowed-down intro and a peppy finish — and deftly handles the transition between the two. Her voice is warm and inviting, her country twang accenting, but not defining it. She might not be as good as she thinks she is — that was Simon's criticism during auditions, remember — but she's better than anyone else so far this episode. (Watch here.)

"Season 7 is turning out to be the year of the young ones," Randy says. The song started off a little rough, "but you sang that with so much conviction and confidence that once you got started it was, like, goin' on. I was like, 'What?'"

I, too, am like, "What?" First, after Randy bellows something that sounds like, "Show and prove, darlin', show and prove!" And then again after Paula speaks. "You've proved that you come out here and you nailed it," she says. "You have the best ending that I've heard on that song."

Simon shows his pleasure more directly: "I think you're very good." Even though he hated the song. "I don't know what that song is. ... It's just so corny. If you can make a song as awful as that sound OK, then when you've got a decent song, you're going to be great."

"You're sailing through to the next round after that," he predicts.

AMANDA OVERMEYER
This 23-year-old Indiana native — the rock 'n' roll nurse — has a kick-ass rock sound and is already one of my favorites. I've been looking forward to hearing what she'll show us next.

Which is where my disappointment really settles in. It's an uneven performance. On one hand, "Baby, Please Don't Go" offers her some chances to cut loose with her trademark growl. On the other, so much of the song calls for mumbling in sync with the guitar, which proves to be awkward for Amanda. (Watch here.) She nonetheless looks the part of a rocker, although her hair seems to have grown a bit out of control.

She's good, but she loses some of her shine with this turn. The song choice isn't great at all.

Randy, however, is effusive. "I loved that, man, kind of a bluesy rocker chick," he says. He also compliments her on her pants, which are indeed pretty cool.

"I just love everything you do," Paula says. "It doesn't matter what people say — 'Is she a one-trick pony?' — you're not. You're not. You're the real deal."

Simon also gives her a big warm & fuzzy: "I really like you," he says, suddenly losing the haughty gruffness that's characterized him so far this week. "And I like you because I genuinely think you're authentic."

"It's not the best performance," he says. "I think at some stage, you've got to come out once again and just prove what a great singer you are. ... I think that was a little bit all over the place at times."

Paula and Randy defend her, saying she just sang the song the way it was meant to be performed. But that's precisely the point, I'd argue. Don't pick a song that doesn't showcase your singing talent when you're participating in a singing competition.

Did I just out-Simon Simon on this one?

I still love Amanda, though. She can make it up to us next week.

And an aside for comic-book geeks. I've been trying to figure out who Amanda reminds me of, and I've finally connected it: Rogue from the X-Men. Crazy? I think not. Sugah.

AMY DAVIS
She's the gal who showed off her ... attributes during auditions. She's also got a positive attitude toward the competition that's really endearing. "To be here in the Top 24 on 'American Idol' is like 100 Christmases as a 6-year-old girl all packed into one. ... I feel like one lucky dog."

She sings "Where the Boys Are," which gets the audience to waving their hands. Unfortunately, instead of grooving to the song, some of them might be trying to signal that she was off-key. Through almost the whole song. It's painful. (Watch here.)

"There were just a lot of pitch problems," Randy says, "so it wasn't great for me."

"The camera loves you," Paula says. (Somebody's discovered where the boys' eyes are!) She attributes Amy's pitch problems to nerves, which could indeed be the case. "I don't know if it was the most engaging song for you to sing. I just felt like it was a little lackluster."

"As Paula said, you looked great, but you didn't sound great," Simon says. "It just became really, really dull. In fact, it sounded like it went on for about 10 minutes. ... I think you're going to struggle after that, I'll be honest with you."

BROOKE WHITE
This 24-year-old goody two-shoes nanny is all sweetness and light — except when she's dissolving into tears like she did during Hollywood Week. I like her, and her voice, too. I just hope she's got a thick enough skin to get survive the judges' criticism. And the hex that seems to have fallen on this night's performances.

She infuses The Turtles' "Happy Together" with a little country-ish acoustic twang, which surprisingly works. Despite all her nerves, she appears at home on stage, and her voice is particularly mellifluous. (Watch here.) She's got a Carly Simon-like sound that's really comforting to listen to.

The judges wax philosophical.

"Let me say this about these songs: It don't matter what the song is, if you come out here and slay it, that's what's supposed to happen," Randy says. "The front part of the song wasn't good, but the back part, you started getting your slaying on."

And now, the Tao of Abdul.

"Brooke, what this competition is about is originality, and that's what I love about you. You have your own thing. You have your own, like, that's what this whole business is about. It's finding someone that you hear your voice the first time and you identify 'that's Brooke.' And you picked the right song. And I think you did a great job."

"I think you chose the right song," Simon says. Then, he turns his Brit-o-Meter setting up to its max: "There are times tonight that I feel like I'm, like, in some commercial for washing-up liquid in the 1960s. You know, the blond hair, the yellow, the happiness."

"The yellow?" Paula asks.

"I'm just struggling a little bit with the relevance."

"Just not your cup of tea," Brooke offers.

"I think you sang it quite well, though," Simon explains. "But I presume you're just going to be nice throughout this competition, aren't you?"

"Is that OK with you?" Brooke asks.

"Not really, no."

Gotta give the girl props for guts. She sparred with Simon and emerged better off than when she started. Could the curse be broken?

ALEXANDREA LUSHINGTON
I've got to go back and check, because I could swear I've spelled Alexandrea's name at least two different ways throughout this season. Maybe I was just thrown off by her love of Boy Scout uniforms; she wore one during auditions and another for Hollywood Week.

She sings "Spinning Wheel" and she's absolutely electric — scout's honor. The song overflows with a hearty soulfulness. From the moment she starts singing while descending the staircase to her flashbulb-punctuated ending, she holds the audience in the palm of her hand. (Watch here.)

Randy hands her a merit badge.

"You blew the doors off that," he says. "You got it. It was hot, baby."

"What I loved so much about this performance is ... you thought about it, you thought about your performance from top to bottom," Paula says. "I saw more confidence in your performance than in any other performance tonight."

Simon, ever the party-pooper, poo-poohs the performance. "I didn't get it," he says, before he's drowned out by a chorus of boos. "It reminded me of some terrible '60s musical. I didn't think the vocals were great."

She corrects Seacrest on the pronunciation of her name. And mouths along with him as he reads the prompter. Simon smirks. He might just like her now.

KADY MALLOY
She's the 18-year-old who wowed the judges with her rendition of "Unchained Melody" — and her Britney impression.

She finds her own voice with "Groovy Kind of Love." She's relaxed on stage, and her vocals flow out effortlessly over the lyrics. (Watch here.) There was a bit of beauty pageantness to it all — a side effect of choosing this song, I'm afraid — but she seems in my mind to power past that.

"This song was OK for me," Randy says. "It was so restrained and controlled. ... It never quite got there for me, and I thought you got lost a little bit in the song, like your concentration was a little gone."

"I want to see the life of you more," Paula says. "We want to see the fun Kady, the personality."

"For once, I agree with Paula," Simon says. "That was like 'Night of the Living Dead.'"

Cut to an angry look from Kady's male friend. Make that two guys angrily milling about outside Simon's dressing room. They can trade tips about wielding blunt instruments.

"When you do the Britney, you're brilliant. Then when you do you, the lights go off," he continues. "You've got to lighten up. ... I don't know who could impersonate you. A pencil or something."

Kady looks like she's feeling a blend of sadness and blinding rage — it's not every day one's personality is compared to that of a writing implement. But the judges are right about one thing — she seems to get lost in what persona she should use. "Let the vocals go," Randy advises. He's right. Listen to him, Kady.

ASIA'H EPPERSON
She's the gal who auditioned in Atlanta right after her dad passed away. And the can-do spirit that got her through that appears to be alive and well during her intro clip interview. "When I take the stage tonight, my dad's definitely going to be with me. I'm living his dream, so he's definitely going to be here, like, 'Let's do this.'"

She sings "Another Piece of My Heart" — and she knows she's got it. Her voice is in high caliber, and the arrangement of the song shows some real showbiz prowess. She gives the song an almost gospel feel — what would Janis do? — by paring briefly down to just drums and backup singers as accompaniment. (Watch here.) It's a mature effort by a youthful singer, which gives an oldie a contemporary tweak.

"I loved that, man — I love that you brought a little you to it," Randy says. "I was impressed."

"You had some really good moments in that song," Paula says.

"It was my favorite of the night," Simon says. "You let go. You're fun, you're likable, you've got a good voice, you're not taking yourself too seriously. It's what it's all about."

RAMIELE MALUBAY
This 20-year-old Floridian lets us in on a little secret during her intro clip interview: That squeaky little voice she used during auditions? It was all for effect. "I wanted them to think that I had a big voice for a little girl." Sneaky. I like that.

I'm not such a big fan of her performance. I'm not exactly sure what it is: the song choice — Dusty Springfield's "Believe Me" — the arrangement, or the fact that the stage was lit to look like the House of the Rising Sun. But it just didn't quite work for me. (Watch here.) Ramiele's vocals were good inasmuch as there wasn't anything wrong with them. But she didn't wow me.

I don't really get her. I guess that's where her innate caginess backfires.

I'm apparently alone in my opinion, though.

"You stuck to the melody, you made it your own," Randy says. "Very classy — almost like a pro, dude. That was hot."

"You're a force to be reckoned with," Paula says, "I just hope you sail all the way in there. ... You had a really great performance."

"I didn't like you when I first saw you," Simon says. "Then I think throughout the Hollywood rounds, I thought you were probably the most consistently good singer. And again tonight, you outsung every single person."

(Does anybody out there agree with me?)

By the way, the more I see that commercial for next week's "Moment of Truth" — that cruddy looking lie-detector-test game show — the more I'm almost goaded into possibly watching it. Not just to see the blonde lady say she'd leave her husband if her ex asked her to get back together, but to find out why a guy who looks as young as the husband does is with a gal of her certain age. Who clearly doesn't love him all that much?

Hopefully, I'll find something else to do that night.

SYESHA MERCADO
The 21-year-old had to deal with her own health woes during Hollywood Week (she lost her voice), so she says she stayed away from the sickies this time around.

She's feeling just fine when she hits the stage: She blows the roof off the joint while singing "Tobacco Road." Her voice is in fine form, and that last note was a show-stopper. (Watch here.) My only complaint — and maybe it's more the band than the singers — is that her timing seemed to be a little off. Like the band was just a few steps ahead.

Otherwise, though, she really nailed it.

"You've got a big old powerful voice. ... All in all, I really liked it. Consistent," Randy says.

"Joyful! Fun! Big!" Paula exclaims. "Syesha — way to go."

"It wasn't your best, best performance," Simon says. "I don't think it really mattered, because you are probably one of the most talented girls in this competition. ... I thought it was terrific."

Paula brings up the botched joke she tried to make during Hollywood Week — that the word "yes" is in the middle of Syesha's name — and it falls flat here, too. But did anyone else hear her mumble at the end of that? I could swear I heard her say, "I'm so drunk." Not kidding at all.

CARLY SMITHSON
Much like the scheduling of Michael Johns to bat clean-up during the last episode, the producers obviously were seeking a strong finish by putting this 24-year-old at the end of the show.

"The Shadow of Your Smile" isn't quite my thing, but it's hard to ignore the vocal prowess she brings to it. A former major-labeler, Carly's definitely a pro; she's got pipes to die for. For what it was, it was a solid performance. (Watch here.) I just didn't much like what it was.

"That's what the show is all about," Randy says. "The best vocal of the last two days, the best vocal of the Top 24 right here."

Really? It was good, but I thought some of the guys were better.

"You are the lucky corner in the pocket," Paula says unintelligibly. "You do not even have to power your voice, the tenderness of your voice, everything, every choice that you make. Beautiful inflections."

And now for a full sentence.

"Once again, I'm on my own here. I didn't get it," Simon says. "I thought the song was way too old-fashioned for you. I even thought your mic technique was very cabaret. Everything about it for me was a let down.

"I've sat here for year after year when someone with your capabilities has come out and totally blown me away ... and I was genuinely expecting something fantastic. And it wasn't fantastic."

I've gotta agree with Simon. She could do better. But no worries, she'll get a shot next time.

FEARLESS PICKS
I'm left feeling a little let down after this episode. Both Amanda Overmeyer and Carly Smithson turned in sub-par performances (that's what happens when the bar's set so high, I guess). But Alaina Whitaker, Brooke White, Alexandrea Lushington and Asia'h Epperson definitely brought it. Or slayed it, as Randy would say. Maybe they brought it and then slayed it. Stand and prove!

So who'll be gone after tonight's results show? I'm confident about my first pick, not so much about my second. I'm pretty sure Amy Davis is going home — she hasn't really shined in quite some time. Next ... I'll hesitantly say Joanne Borgella. I like her, and I think she has promise, but I think her time in the spotlight this episode — and Simon's withering criticism — might have sunk her.

» TONIGHT: "Idol" is live with an hour-long results show, after which two guys and two girls will compete no more. You'll get a full recap tomorrow.

In the meantime, why so quiet with the comments? What did you think about the Top 24 — the girls or the guys? Who do you think'll be going home tonight? Leave a comment below or e-mail me at comments@readexpress.com. Let your voice be heard!

WANT TO SEE more recaps like this one? Bookmark the page linked here and check back with us the morning after each "Idol" broadcast.

Photos courtesy Fox

Posted By Greg Barber at 7:55 AM on February 21, 2008 Tagged in Arts & Events , Idol Chatter , Television , Top Columns

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