Idol Chatter: For Archuleta, All the World's a Stage Dad

I CAN'T RESIST diving into the flurry of stories that've shuffled out over the past few days about Li'l David Archuleta's dad, Jeff.

Here's the news nugget: Remember last week when Li'l David, in the midst of his performance of "Stand By Me" by Ben E. King, warbled something about "all you beyouuuutiful girls"? No surprise, he did it on purpose. According to The New York Times, among many, many others, the line is a snippet from a song by Sean Kingston that Li'l D and his dad, who helps David arrange his songs, were warned not to use. David sang the lyrics anyway, which meant that "Idol" had to fork over extra cash for rights clearances and royalties.

The dust-up, according to the Times and others, got Papa Archuleta banned from the show's rehearsals.

But Li'l David's vocal coach, Dean Kaelin, says the news media has the story wrong. He tells The Salt Lake Tribune's Vince Horiuchi that Jeff Archuleta was told not to help his son arrange songs for "fairness," not because of a spat with producers:

"This whole thing with the words is ludicrous," said Kaelin, who has been working with David and his father during the show's run. "[David] easily would have sung that in front of producers, directors [during rehearsals]. Why wouldn't anyone go up to him and say, 'You can't sing that,' or go to Jeff? And nobody did." ...

"I have spoken to Jeff about all of this, and what he said to me is he is not 'banned' from the show," Kaelin said. "What he was banned from — and I wouldn't even call it that — is from the arranging sessions."

Regardless of exactly how it went down, the story has brought all the nattering we've heard this season about the senior Archuleta to a full boil.

Here's a small sample:
» "Jeff Archuleta's intense backstage involvement had become a concern for the series, the source said, adding it was a lyric change on Tuesday's show that pushed the producers to act." [AP via Toronto Star]
» "'Idol' sources tell TMZ Jeff has been a complete pain in the ass, interfering with the entire production. He has badgered producers, the band, vocal coaches and even other contestants." [TMZ]
» "How is Jeff supposed to stage-parent effectively if he's not allowed near the stage? Sure, he'll still be able to badger David during unofficial, off-set rehearsals — but that's only one facet of his protean, multi-sided strategy for absolute victory!" [New York Magazine]

As you can see, the coverage has sustained a level of vitriol that I'd always thought was reserved for despots, dictators, serial killers and Courtney Love.

Even ABC News has gotten in on the story, with the video report below. Note the headline: "Stage Parents Gone Bad."

So is Papa Archuleta a fire-breathing, his-way-getting, power-playing, button-pushing stage dad to end all stage dads? I sure don't know. I mean, his kid's clearly got a talent, and it's hard from an angle outside the Archuleta family or those close to them to tell whether it was David's ambition or Dad's that really powered the Archuleta Express. Although it's pretty clear that Jeff Archuleta does much, much more than smile and clap on the sidelines.

What's really interesting to me about this story, though, is how quickly so many folks seemed to pounce on it; it's been a theme throughout the season.

Why have so many people keyed in on this story? Is it because we're maybe a wee bit jealous of David's talent and want the encouragement of knowing he's not the power behind his own throne? Or is there something about a hard-charging father that strikes a tender spot in the psyche of every former kid — whether their pop was Dad of the Year or a deadbeat?

Is it that we want David to control his own destiny? Or are we engaging in the fine art of schadenfreude, enjoying the spectacle as someone who's attained fame twists in the wind a little?

And taking into account all the commentary on everything from David's song choice to his looks to whether he squints his eyes too much while he sings that's floating out there in print, on the radio, on television and on the Web, I'll ask this question: are we, the judging and voting public, really the worst stage dad of all?

Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images