Idol Chatter: David of Reckoning

THE GLOVES ARE OFF. The season's two seemingly untouchable heavyweights — David Cook and Li'l David Archuleta — are finally going head to head, toe to toe and vocal chord to vocal chord to determine which of them will attain fame and fortune as the bona fide American Idol and which of them will ... well, probably attain fame and fortune anyway.

But the title! It's important! Or so we're told.

The clash of these two titans begins in the best way it possibly can: without Seacrest. It's a little skit in which David and Li'l David show up in boxing outfits (which, of course, means the gloves are briefly on) as the "Let's Get Ready to Rumble™" guy introduces them.

Some observations:

» David Cook is a funny man. And weighs 180 pounds, apparently? One too many trips to In-N-Out Burger, hmm?

» Li'l David is very, very small. My kid brother looked more menacing in his faux WWF championship belt when he was 7 years old.

» The "Let's Get Ready to Rumble™" guy punches "THIS is 'American Idol'" even more heavily than Seacrest does, which I didn't think was possible. Surprisingly, it was considerably less annoying.

But then, of course, Secrest appears, hamming it up before an expanded audience of thousands at L.A.'s Nokia Theatre. And that's when the real drama begins.

"It's all come down to this," he says in a voiceover accompanying a taped introduction to the night's festivities. "Two men with one name and one desire: to be crowned champion."

The boxing motif gets very old very quickly. And not to be a total word nerd here, but the two men don't actually have one name. Two women with one name would be Cher and Madonna. They're two men who share a first name.

I'm an editor. These things bother me as much as Metrorail operators who say "Judic-U-ary Square" instead of "Judiciary Square" over Red Line loudspeakers. Just one "u." Not two. Thanks.

Ancient record exec Clive Davis — I'm sure he's got amazing stories to tell about playing pinochle with William McKinley — and still-creepy former "Idol" mentor Andrew Lloyd Webber offer obvious advice and praise. Jim Lampley (huh?) babbles boxing advice. And the Davids are made to assume fighting poses. Which proves beyond a doubt that both are lovers, not fighters.

How did they prepare for the big night?

» Li'l David: "Well, you know, just rehearsed as much you could and whenever you have the spare time to. ... I feel pretty ready; I feel as ready as I could."

» David C.: "Well, I mean, for me, it just started out — I've got a tall order in front of me trying to keep up with this kid. For me, it's just trying to find the right energy for each of these songs, and hopefully you guys'll oblige."

Advice from the judges?

» Randy: "I think tonight, you guys both have to leave everything on the floor. You gotta bring everything that you've got tonight. This is a duel, Ryan, for the king of the Nokia. ... Drop it, dude, drop it hard tonight!"

» Paula: "You're at the Nokia Theatre where everybody is loving you. So enjoy it, soak it up, and may the best man win."

» Simon: "You know, you've got to have a desire to win, and you've got to hate your opponent."

These guys don't seem to be bringing the hate. But which will bring the better show?

ROUND 1: CLIVE DAVIS' PICKS
Sigh. The boxing motif is apparently here to stay. Another taped setup piece guides us through the first round of songs to be sung by the Davids, which were chosen by Mr. 19th century himself, Clive Davis.

"I looked for a song that I felt captured the yearning of your generation," Davis tells David Cook. "Looking for answers, looking for love, looking for spiritual guidance and the meaning of life."

The song he picks: "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For," the U2 classic. For Li'l David, he chooses "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" by Elton John and Bernie Taupin. Both are songs that are beloved by fans, and both present a relatively high degree of difficulty for their singer.

Lord Andrew, who apparently enjoyed his mentoring turn (or the accompanying camera time) so much that he wanted another shot at it, guides the Davids with some advice. For Li'l David, his words of wisdom once again include an exhortation not to make with the squinty squinty while singing.

"I've just got to keep my eyes on the prize," Li'l David semi-deadpans. As if someone didn't write that line for him.

David Cook is the first up. And he burns like fire. (Watch here.)

His arrangement of the song is more airy than the original, his first few lines delivered in a matching breathiness. Then, after the song floats upward from the ground, he bats it, and himself, out into the audience in a hard-charging rockish performance. And with one soaring, ascending note at the end, the song seems to float off into the atmosphere.

He doesn't remake the song entirely, but he does make it his. And he does a masterful job of it.

Randy takes us back in time, apparently, for his critique: "I think it was a great way to start off this duel of 2007. [Huh?] Very nice song choice. ... I don't know if you did everything you could do with it, but I loved the scoop up of the note up at the end. It was hot, baby. Hot."

"Well, you may not have found what you're looking for, but we have found David Cook," Paula says. "We need to look no further. David Cook has arrived, amen, amen."

"You know, David, I could see at the top of this show, you looked very tense, very emotional, and I could understand why," Simon says. "So taking all of that together, I thought it was phenomenal."

Li'l David takes the stage next. And he, too, notches up to phenomenal.

His take on "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" is traditional, but powerful, although he employs the grating sing-the-lyrics- twice-for-soulfulness theorem a bit too much for my tastes. His voice is as pure as it ever was, and he handles the song's difficult rises and falls with ease.

And he even almost keeps the squinting under control. Almost. (Watch here.)

"It doesn't matter what happens right now, you gotta know one thing," Randy says, "this is one of the best performances of this whole season, and you picked the right time to peak, baby. That was flawless and unbelievably molten hot."

For a moment, I picture what would happen if Li'l David suddenly turned into a squinting, grinning lava creature and torched the theater and its helpless, screaming occupants with its deadly blasts of molten sound. But then I refocus. (Ah, Google Images. Only you could take a screwy request like "lava creature" and deliver exactly the right art.)

"My heart's still pounding, David," Paula says. "I've got chills up and down my arms. The sun's never going to go down on you [*roll of eyes*], because you bring out so much sunshine in everyone throughout the whole world through your singing. And, David, that was a beautiful, beautiful stunning performance."

"David, I'm going to be honest with you," Simon says. "I thought last week you were OK. I thought tonight's performance was arguably the best you've done so far. Taking everything into account, round 1 goes to Archuleta."

This last bit of praise pushes Li'l David near to tears. I've heard the criticism from those who think his aw-shucks-ness is just an act, and I've thought cynically about it myself. But anyone who really takes a look at this kid while he's up there hyperventilating on stage knows that this time, it's definitely for real.

ROUND 2 -- SONGWRITER CONTEST
Now here's an interesting twist. I mentioned in Tuesday's column my theory that last year's Songwriter Contest song, which was chosen by the producers out of entries sent to the show by songwriters, might have helped Jordin Sparks to best Blake Lewis since it lent itself more to her singing style than his. This year, in a wry grin-inducing turnabout, the "Idol" producers let the finalists themselves choose from what I'd assume was a narrowed-down pool of original choices.

The good news: Each David gets his chance to pick a song that best fits him. The bad news: Voters lose the ability to compare the two singers as they attempt to sing — and interpret — the same song.

David C. picks "Dream Big" by Emily Shackelton and Li'l David picks "In This Moment" by Ryan Gillmor.

David Cook's up first. And the song doesn't sound half bad. Bathed in a red rocker's light, David plows through the tune, an optimistic romp about dreaming and succeeding and blah blah blah. It's a bit of a let-down from U2, but I get the same feeling from it that I do from lots of David's material: This could be a hit with him singing it. (Watch here.)

"The song was just OK for me, but what made it really work is your voice," Randy says. "Dude, you were singing your face off right there."

"David, a song in your heart and a guitar in your hand, and we millions who sit in awe mesmerized by you," Paula says. "This was a great way to take a song we don't know and fall in love with it. Congratulations."

"Using the boxing analogy, it was a bit of a lightweight, I thought," Simon says. "I thought the end was OK, you know, you made the most of what you had. Bearing in mind that this was supposed to be like a winning song, it didn't feel like a winning moment for me. ... Look, the good news is, we've got a third song. Six-and-a-half out of 10."

Yikes. In the Fairfax County Public Schools grading system of my youth, that's just barely a D. But will the criticism hurt David in the end or help him by motivating fans on the fence to cast a vote for him?

Once again to Li'l David and his original song choice. It's about moments and not taking things away from people and la la la. Schlocky, yes. But it seems like Li'l David's bought into his piece of mumble pie better than David Cook did. And that commitment showed — his high notes are higher, his Earnest-O-Meter is cranked up to full blast. (Watch here.)

These contest songs — and believe me, I listened to a bunch of 'em — all seemed to strike a similar chord, one of bald-faced, unvarnished emotion. And that just fits into Li'l David's wheelhouse better than it does into David Cook's.

And, uh, Li'l D? Maybe wearing a sportcoat with anchors all over it isn't what you want to do when you're trying to stay afloat during the last choppy night of competition. It's, uh, hip, I guess. All the kids love anchors.

"Once again for me, the song — I wasn't crazy about the song," Randy says. "But here's the deal, man. Right now, you're so in the zone, dawg, that you could sing the phone book and it'd be good. So that was another hot performance."

Seriously, Randy has said this exact same thing so many times that I think they should have to actually listen to David Archuleta sing the phone book as punishment. And not the phone book in a small town, either. Pick a city with lots of hard-to-pronounce names. Have fun with that.

"It's just another heartfelt performance. It doesn't matter what song you're singing, it's like you're on fire tonight, it's pure magic," Paula says. "And you know what, that is why you're in this spot that you're in in the finals, my dear, so congratulations."

"I loved the egotistical lyric; fantastically self-centered," Simon says. "You definitely, definitely chose the better song there. Much more in keeping with the night. Round 2 goes to David Archuleta."

...Who once again looks like he's near tears. I wonder if he's like that when he wins something less exciting, like family Monopoly night. "OK, David, I guess you have both Park Place AND Boardwalk. David? Sigh. Could somebody pass him a tissue?"

ROUND 3 -- CONTESTANT'S CHOICE
This could be the clincher. David Cook is taking a chance on "The World I Know" by Collective Soul — a song he's never performed. That could be a big mistake, since Li'l David has taken a tune from his previous playbook: "Imagine" by John Lennon, a song that YouTube tells me he's sung many times. When he performed it on "Idol" many weeks ago, it moved Paula to tears and earned perhaps the most adulation from the judges of any performance he'd done.

Is David Cook getting ready to stumble? Yup. And there's a prevailing thought I have throughout his performance that I just can't shake.

In his head, he's already lost.

The lighting is somber. His outfit is muted. His voice seems muffled. It's a straightforward cover when the menu calls for a dazzler. (Watch here.)

He doesn't put on a show like a man who knows he has this thing in the bag — or even like a guy who thinks he has a fighting chance. Even the song itself has a bittersweetness to it. He'll lead us to the promised land, but he won't get to join us there.

He even cries at the end like he knows it's the last time he'll perform solo on this show.

"One of the cool things, man, about you is that you're showing people tonight a lot of different sides of David Cook," Randy says. "That was a very nice sensitive side of David Cook, and I love Collective Soul, and I've been saying this for weeks now, I think this is the kind of record you could definitely make and get by with. Very nice job, dude. Very nice."

"I look at you up on that stage, and you're standing in your truth," Paula says. "And you're delivering unbelievable songs with integrity and originality. And I truly applaud you, David Cook. I do." And she does. While standing, even.

"I just want to say publicly that you are actually one of the nicest, most sincere contestants we've had," Simon says, preparing to smack David around but good. "It was a beautiful song, but I'm going to be honest with you, it was completely and utterly the wrong song choice for you on the night. Because what you should have done, you should have sung 'Billie Jean' or 'Hello.'"

Why didn't he?

"For me, this whole thing has been a progression," David says. "And so the way that I was looking at it is, 'Why do something that I've already done?'"

I can absolutely see his point. If, if the song he's choosing to end with is his best, his flashiest, his knock-'em-deadest material.

This wasn't. And if anything's going to cost him the "American Idol" title, it'll be the decision to perform this song and to sing it the way he did.

Li'l David's final performance starts next. And it's the one that wins him this competition.

His version of "Imagine" has changed little since he performed it earlier in the season. But it's still so heartfelt, so vocally pure that even those of us who heard it then can't help but be swept up by it again. (Watch here.)

He sounds like a star. He looks like a star. And where David Cook's final song was an uncharacteristic note-for-note cover from the Idolite we most love for his quirky arrangements, David Archuleta's swan song is a legend's magnum opus on life and hope and the fragile state of humanity. It's the kind of song that fits Li'l David like a glove.

"David Archuleta. I'm really happy and proud that it's the two Davids standing on this stage because we thought all season it would come down to this," Randy says. "Dude, you are so good tonight, you are exactly what this show is about: finding the best singer we can find. And the best singer of Season 7 is right there."

"It's the culmination, David, and you've left me speechless as I was when I first heard you sing the song," Paula says. "You were stunning tonight. You were stunning tonight."

"You know, we've taken a little bit of stick this year, the competition. But at the end of the day, this show is about finding a star," Simon says. "And tonight, I think we've witnessed one of the great finals. But here's the difference. In my opinion, David, you came out here tonight to win. And what we have witnessed is a knockout."

Then, poor Reuben Studdard performs. But he's a mere afterthought. It's David Archuleta who's the story of the night.

FEARLESS PICK
Li'l David has scored a big victory. I went into this evening wondering if a combination of wiliness and anti-Archuleta backlash might propel David Cook to victory. In fact, I was even silently rooting for David Cook to win. Now, I'd be surprised if that happened. David's momentum, which had been slowing in recent weeks, seemed to hit a standstill during his final performances.

At his best, David Cook is an entrancing performer. But he didn't bring his best tonight. Each of the songs he performed — even his ascendant take on "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" — were pedestrian when compared to his standouts like "Billie Jean," "Eleanor Rigby" and "Hello." Neither of the covers he performed boasted his trademark arrangement tweaks. And while he's still a solid songsmith even when he belts 'em out straight, his not-quite-best wasn't good enough to stop David Archuleta at the top of his game.

I'll agree with the judges — Li'l David peaked during this final performance show. Would I necessarily buy an album by David Archuleta? No. But if you're holding a singing competition and one guy sings his heart out while the other seems to be holding back, you've got to hand the title to the guy who (can't ... fight ... boxing ... analogy) delivered the knockout punch. And when the bell rang (crap! crap! crap!), it was David Archuleta who was still standing.

Mind you, I think David Cook has the makings of a superstar. I think that he's capable of great things, and I look forward to seeing what he can do when he runs his own show. The following he's built on "American Idol" could be just the springboard he needs to launch a lasting career. I wouldn't be surprised if he's still playing to sellout crowds in 30 years.

But David Archuleta — I'm nearly certain of it — will be singing the victory song tonight.

I could always be wrong, though.

» COMING UP: Just two more bits of "Idol" goodness for us before we all pack up our toys and go home. At 11 a.m. today, I'll have the final edition of Idol Chatter Live for this season. And then, after tonight's two-hour "Idol" pop explosion, I'll present for your review the season's final recap. We'll laugh. We'll cry. We'll find something else to do with our Tuesday and Wednesday nights. It'll be mah-velous.

It's all at readexpress.com/idol.

Until then, there's one big question that gives way to several little ones: Who's gonna win this thing? Did David Archuleta run away with the night, or will David Cook bust through the hype to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat? Let me know what you think in the comments section below.

Photos courtesy Fox

Posted By Greg Barber at 4:37 AM on May 21, 2008 Tagged in Arts & Events , Idol Chatter , Television , Top Columns

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