Baggage Check: I'm Dreaming of Who Now?

GOT ISSUES? Dr. Andrea Bonior will help you sort them out.

My boyfriend of almost two years and I had been fighting a lot over the last few months, due to my high stress level from finishing my master's degree and working a full-time job. Several times, I told him to get out of our apartment (but I never actually wanted him to leave). He broke up with me two weeks ago, and now I'm devastated. We're stuck living together in a one-bedroom apartment until September. I want the opportunity to make things right. — BROKENHEARTED

That depends on your definition of "make things right." Something smells concerning to me here (though it could just be that bad curry). Is it that you believe you should unequivocally be with your boyfriend and that the struggles you had were just a blip on the screen? I would argue that your actual fighting wasn't the problem, but rather a symptom of the underlying disease — and there's no easy telling whether that disease is a chronic, terminal nightmare or just, say, a rather embarrassing norovirus.

So, it's time to be real. Before you go begging him back, take a hard look at why stress was such a relationship-crumbler and what makes you believe it wouldn't happen all over again.

If the answer is that you need some help with stress management, or have anger or anxiety problems, then embarking on a course of action to change that — perhaps with a professional — is a necessity. It's also time to consider whether your ex played enough of a role in the implosion to rule him out as a viable option for your most eligible bachelor.

If you decide you still want to present your case to your boyfriend, you'll handle it best if you go into it with the knowledge that this is — I swear — your chance to become a happier, healthier person. And if he decides your relationship has run its course, then, in time, with a few nights of considering sleeping in the elevator, you can use your own growth as a door prize.

Is it weird to have dreams about your ex? He's been popping up randomly in my dreams. (He's just there staring blankly at me.) Could that mean I still like him, even though both of us have moved on to better relationships?— JUST CURIOUS

Yes, and it also means that dude you sometimes see riding a surfboard made of marmalade is going to be your next plumber.

Sorry. I just get a bit of a kick out of dream analysis. Some of it, no doubt, can bring about real insight and lead someone on a path of understanding about their inner self. Other times, it can convince someone that he or she is sexually attracted to a lemur.

In short, your ex's presence in your dreams is most likely insignificant, unless it feels significant to you in your waking life. I like to think of dreams as a daily emptying of the mind's recycle bin: Occasionally, you're bound to see meaningful things that tell you something about that person's existence — and perhaps his or her hopes, dreams and fears. Other times, you're merely coming across a desiccated plum pit that someone's Great Uncle Bernie mindlessly tossed in as he was passing through — not exactly the stuff of real revelation.

So, don't overthink this. If your ex's popping up is occasional and insignificant, just like that fuchsia-carpeted disco room with the anteaters wearing shoes, there's no reason it should get in your way unless you let it.

Talk back to Dr. Andrea by leaving a comment below. To ask a question for Baggage Check in the Express print edition, e-mail baggage@readexpress.com or submit an anonymous question here.

Art by Eric Reece for Express